The Come Alive Podcast

Gaslighting...what is it?

Episode Summary

Gaslighting has become a buzzword and everyone is talking about it, but who really knows what it is? When it comes to creating a life worth living for you, this is one of the ways we allow ourselves to be at the effect of another and create a sense of self-doubt.

Episode Notes

Gaslighting has become a buzzword and everyone is talking about it, but who really knows what it is? When it comes to creating a life worth living for you, this is one of the ways we allow ourselves to be at the effect of another and create a sense of self-doubt.

Key Takeaways:

1. Gaslighting is a systemic use of manipulation that's often subtle.
2. Happens so frequently and so subtely you often don't know it's taking place.
3. Designed to get you re-orient your life around this other person and their truth.
4. Often becomes a basic function of your relationships.
5. Gaslighting can appear in all relationships including romantic relationships, the workplace and religious institutions/organizations.
6. The main purpose is to get you to lose your sense of self.

Tactics of Gaslighters:

• Complisults - A compliment with an insult attached
• At the start, they tell you how great you are and make false promises

Tips to Deal with Gaslighting:

• Don't make it right/wrong or fighting it, it's about being aware that it exists or is taking place.
• Get the value of you and how valuable you actually are.
• Pay attention when you're gaslighting yourself and the systemic negative beliefs you have about yourself.

Exercise:
Give yourself some time to reflect on the different messages you have had from other people and yourself. Were they empowering and inviting you to something more? Or are they designed in a way to make you doubt yourself and to make that person, project or company greater than you? Again, it's not about fighting and judging it, but just acknowledged how it has looked throughout your life. 

Want more on this topic? Join me for a 2-day workshop on "Shutting off the Gas to Gaslighting" on January 28th, 2023. For full details, please visit www.john-wheeler.com/gaslighting